I bet you didn’t see that one coming. 3 Questions that can change your life? These better be good!
Opening your eyes to life and its truths presents you with a myriad of lessons.
One lesson that has been popping up in mine and my client’s lives lately is the value of knowing for yourself.
Too often we get so caught up in making the right decisions that we survey the whole world hoping for an answer that will soothe the growing discontent in our souls.
We want others to help us decide which path we should take. Which guy we should date. When to stay or when to leave? What to do to make our lives happier and when to do it.
In doing this we give up our power and end up with lives that we didn’t create. No one can inform your decisions better than you. Most times it is not that you don’t know and you need someone to tell you.
It is that you haven’t asked the right questions of yourself.
So, here are 3 questions to help you when you feel like everyone else knows best. Remember, there are no right and wrong answers.
1. What if you told the truth and nothing but the truth?
We walk about in quiet desperation. Hiding our true thoughts, feelings and desires from the world. Sometimes too afraid to utter them out loud for fear of judgment and guffaws that they will probably receive. We shrink ourselves and our heart’s desires and keep our dreams locked away.
What if we said the things that make us ourselves out loud and do not look around to see who is smirking back at us?
What if we threw our truths ahead of us as we walked along our path holding our heads high and stepping forward anyway, uncomfortable as they may be to someone else?
What if the beliefs we hold about love, life and success were placed openly on the table? What would that mean for who you show yourself to be?
- How is not telling your truth keeping you living a lie?
- What if you stopped hiding the discomfort of the bad relationship that looks perfect from the outside?
- What if you stopped telling the ‘I really don’t want marriage and children’ story and told the truth?
- What if you opted into a life of integrity based on living what you really, truly know you want?
- Would that blow your life up?
- And so what if it did?
2. What if you let go of striving for perfection?
I wish I had spent more time making my life more perfect, said no dying person ever. Instead, dying people often wished they had lived more carefree lives, enjoying the imperfections of the moment.
Perfection and the tendency toward seeking perfection is overrated and overvalued. There is no perfection in the world.
For every person struggling with perfectionism is a person who is paralyzed by fear, living with regrets about not having done the things that lay on their hearts. Behind the perfectionistic seeker is someone who is unhappy and afraid and unproductive and dissatisfied.
When you’re in a state of censorship– checking to make sure everything is in impeccable condition, you end up living a life of missing out. You miss out on spontaneity and the joys that come from an imperfect moment.
You end up with crafted memories that have little joy embedded in them. You end up remembering all the work that you put in. As opposed to all the fun you had along the way because you really didn’t have any fun.
You had struggle and uncertainty and doubts. Perfection is a lie. There is none. Instead, the best moments are the ones that are imperfect. When the perfect vacation gets ruined, you have a laugh filled adventure. When the perfect house gets turned into a food fight, the memories multiply. When the perfect couple has their first upheaval, you learn that you can withstand more than you thought you could.
- So what if you deliberately tried to appreciate the imperfections in life?
- What if perfection was not something that you sought after anymore?
- What if you accepted that good enough is good enough?
- How much more would you be able to love your life?
3. What if you admitted that you want more that what you currently have?
What if you allowed yourself to dream of a life that is more abundant and passionate and blissful than the one you are currently living? What would that mean for you right now What things would you do differently? What dreams would you go traipsing after?
First things first. We are taught to seek contentment and we fear that if we start wanting more it means we are not grateful for what we have, but I call BS on that. Wanting more means that you have faith in the abundance of the universe to meet even the needs that you can’t see. It means that you are growing and stretching and are more confident in yourself and your abilities to make manifest the things on your heart.
Often we feel locked into our current realities and are afraid to allow our minds to venture even to the edge for fear that if we let the light in our whole worlds would shatter. We aren’t really so concerned about the world shattering, moreso than the people whose lives we hold together. We worry that if we don’t keep it together exactly as they have come to know it, they will not survive. But hear this, sister. Humans are exceptionally resilient. We are stronger than our minds can conceive and you and they all will survive and even thrive.
Open yourself up to bigger dreams and wild imaginings. Take the trip into your amazing dream for your life and revel in it. Taste it, feel it. Smell it. Be fully immersed and present in it. Living a half baked existence does not serve you or the ones looking to you. Pic am sure they too would love to see you living your wild and fabulous life. They too would like to reap the benefits of love and joy that you would radiate. So what if you didn’t crouch but stood tall and let the world know that you know. You know there is so much more out there than this and you want it, dammit!
What would that mean for your fears and your secret worries that you’ll die having lived a boring life? What will it do for the things you thought impossible? What will it do for your Joie de vivre?
These three questions are tough ones to answer, but they hold the potential for serving as a catalyst to the life you truly want to live.
There are no easy answers and I can’t tell you what to do.
All I aim to do is hold your heart to the light in hopes that you will make your dreams a reality.