Relationships don’t have to be hard, but here’s what to do if they are.
Being in relationships with other complex human beings is not easy. Sometimes I think how much easier it would be if we each had our own little island and visited each other on our happy days.[spacer height=”20px”]
But life is supposed to be complex and deeply interwoven. [spacer height=”20px”]
Here are 5 beliefs that can help you manage your relationships without driving yourself crazy: [spacer height=”10px”]
Every person is on their own journey and each person has their own path to travel.
Stop trying to control someone else’s journey. If you are having significant trouble with the other person’s choices, you have the option of removing yourself. [spacer height=”10px”]But if the issues are not significant, let the other person find his path while you focus on yours and how both of you can travel the journey together. [spacer height=”20px”]
I am the only one who can make me happy in this moment.
Is the person who you are making you happy? Sometimes we look to the other people in our lives to make us happy. [spacer height=”20px”]We get overwhelmed when they don’t do things the way we want and drag ourselves into unhappiness, wondering why they can’t just do what we want or even worst we beat up on ourselves for making such a bad decision. [spacer height=”20px”] Change your perspective! Who do you need to be to be happy for and with yourself. Release the people who you are holding captive expecting them to make you happy. Don’t get me wrong, the people you choose should enhance your happiness but they are not beholden to you and it is not their job to make you happy. [spacer height=”20px”]
Everybody is doing the best they can given what they know.
I have found this thought to be the most calming one I have when I get upset about things that others do. [spacer height=”20px”] Honestly, I get riled up sometimes wondering how someone could do such a thing. What I know from my own experiences is that when I know better, I often choose to do better. [spacer height=”20px”]When I don’t know I can’t make the better choice. It’s the same thing with others, they do the best they can most times and if we understand that at any given time, no matter what it looks like, everyone else is doing the best they know how, it will help us to manage our emotions better. [spacer height=”20px”]
Every day is a new day and I can choose my own paradise.
No one is forcing you to be somewhere you don’t want to be. You are free to leave at any time. So if you choose to stay, give it your best effort. If you choose to leave, give that your best effort. [spacer height=”20px”]The key though is to remember that every thing is a choice and you have the right to choose in any moment what you will and will not settle for. [spacer height=”20px”]
No experience is wasted. Every thing that we experience has a place and a purpose.
It really is up to us how we interpret each experience. One man’s bad experience is another’s blessing. It’s all in the way that he chooses to see it. [spacer height=”20px”]Choose to see each challenge as an opportunity to learn and grow, not as a reflection of how screwy your life is. Remember that the Universe, or God or whomever you believe in, has your back. [spacer height=”20px”]
Give margins to people; most times, they’re doing their best.