Author: drssr09@gmail.com

5 Beliefs that Keep Relationships Simple

Relationships don’t have to be hard, but here’s what to do if they are. 

5 Beliefs that keep relationships simple
5 Beliefs that keep relationships simple

Being in relationships with other complex human beings is not easy. Sometimes I think how much easier it would be if we each had our own little island and visited each other on our happy days.[spacer height=”20px”]

But life is supposed to be complex and deeply interwoven. [spacer height=”20px”]

 Lately I’ve been getting a lot of calls and emails from people who are having trouble in their relationships and are not sure what to do.  [spacer height=”20px”]See we have come to believe that like we do in our jobs, we can manage our significant others. We try to covertly and sometimes overtly mold them into who we think they should be. [spacer height=”20px”]
We end up getting our feelings hurt and lose hope because no matter what they don’t change. But the truth is, no matter how much we’re prodded, we don’t change either, so it’s almost a fair game.[spacer height=”20px”]
  But think about it, wouldn’t it be easier to just live your life and let the other person live their life? How much more wonderful would it be if you’re happy no matter what someone else is doing? 
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Here are 5 beliefs that can help you manage your relationships without driving yourself crazy: [spacer height=”10px”]

  1. Every person is on their own journey and each person has their own path to travel.  

    Stop trying to control someone else’s journey.  If you are having significant trouble with the other person’s choices, you have the option of removing yourself. [spacer height=”10px”]But if the issues are not significant, let the other person find his path while you focus on yours and how both of you can travel the journey together.  [spacer height=”20px”]

  2. I am the only one who can make me happy in this moment.

    Is the person who you are making you happy? Sometimes we look to the other people in our lives to make us happy. [spacer height=”20px”]We get overwhelmed when they don’t do things the way we want and drag ourselves into unhappiness, wondering why they can’t just do what we want or even worst we beat up on ourselves for making such a bad decision. [spacer height=”20px”] Change your perspective! Who do you need to be to be happy for and with yourself.  Release the people who you are holding captive expecting them to make you happy. Don’t get me wrong, the people you choose should enhance your happiness but they are not beholden to you and it is not their job to make you happy. [spacer height=”20px”]

  3. Everybody is doing the best they can given what they know.

    I have found this thought to be the most calming one I have when I get upset about things that others do. [spacer height=”20px”] Honestly, I get riled up sometimes wondering how someone could do such a thing.  What I know from my own experiences is that when I know better, I often choose to do better.  [spacer height=”20px”]When I don’t know I can’t make the better choice.  It’s the same thing with others, they do the best they can most times and if we understand that at any given time, no matter what it looks like,  everyone else is doing the best they know how, it will help us to manage our emotions better.  [spacer height=”20px”]  

  4. Every day is a new day and I can choose my own paradise.

    No one is forcing you to be somewhere you don’t want to be.  You are free to leave at any time. So if you choose to stay, give it your best effort.  If you choose to leave, give that your best effort. [spacer height=”20px”]The key though is to remember that every thing is a choice and you have the right to choose in any moment what you will and will not settle for.  [spacer height=”20px”]

  5. No experience is wasted. Every thing that we experience has a place and a purpose.

    It really is up to us how we interpret each experience.  One man’s bad experience is another’s blessing.  It’s all in the way that he chooses to see it.  [spacer height=”20px”]Choose to see each challenge as an opportunity to learn and grow, not as a reflection of how screwy your life is.  Remember that the Universe, or God or whomever you believe in, has your back. [spacer height=”20px”]

Give margins to people; most times, they’re doing their best.
This all boils down to: Live your life. Make yourself happy. Choose the life you want. Give margins to people; most times, they’re doing their best. And finally, No experience is ever wasted. Learn the lesson and move on.  [spacer height=”20px”]

Talk back: How do you ensure that your relationships are not harder than they need to be? 

Guest Post: 5 Lessons in Confidence from a Recovered Procrastinator

5 lessons in confidence from recovered procrastinator

I’d like to welcome to the She’s Inspired Blog, a lovely Psychologist friend, Dr. Christine Li, who has mastered procrastination to become a coach for others who are struggling to overcome the success and inspiration drain. In this short, easy read she offers 5 lessons to build your confidence in light of the habit of procrastination and she makes some simple, practical suggestions about whether to move forward or to procrastinate.   Enjoy!

Procrastination is a sure-fire way to keep your confidence low or non-existent.  Though we may feel we are saving ourselves from work-related stress, we inevitably bring other forms of stress upon ourselves through our delay, avoidance, and non-performance.

In my work as a Clinical Psychologist specializing in working with Procrastinators, I have seen the corrosive effects of procrastination on personal well-being.  Procrastinators suffer from poor self-esteem, isolation, and problems feeling like they are agents in their own lives.[spacer height=”20px”]  In my own life, I have experienced the negative effects of procrastination, as I lost many days, weeks, and years to the stress that Procrastination causes.  I’m so happy now to consider myself a Procrastinator-in-Recovery, and I am grateful to be able to share some of what I’ve learned about the relationship between Procrastination and self-confidence with you.

Why is Procrastination So Toxic to Self-Confidence?

When we delay on matters that are meaningful to us, we teach ourselves that we are not important and we acquire excess feelings we didn’t bargain for, like anxiety, shame, and guilt.

When we avoid others we lose opportunities to find relief, to finish what we’ve started, to feel connected to others, to feel like we can grow.

When we procrastinate we not only fall behind in time, but also fall behind others as they continue to make progress.  That gap between us and the rest of the universe seems to expand at frighteningly rapid speeds.

So How Do We Decide Whether to Go Forward or to Procrastinate?

There will be so many times in your life when you will have to decide whether to move forward or whether to stand still.  I hope you’ll remember these 5 points about confidence whenever you are at those crossroads:

  1. Your confidence comes from within. You may seek confidence from others, but only you can grab on to the feeling and the faith of self-confidence.  Confidence builds gradually, so don’t expect to feel at the top of your game just because it’s Tuesday.  Use whatever amount of confidence you have now and spring forward to tackle the projects you decide are important to you.  Developing and strengthening your self-confidence will boost your ability to withstand stress, to engage others, and to be at your creative best.[spacer height=”20px”]
  2.  Your confidence grows when you move forward. When we move forward even when we don’t want to or when we fear change, we teach ourselves we can withstand stress and we can cope with our fears by bypassing them.  It is a very powerful message to get.  Each new interaction or movement strengthens your sense of your own ability.  When you move forward consistently, you will have the benefit of a can-do attitude which will help you get things done.[spacer height=”20px”]
  3. We cannot wait until we are 100% confident to begin. Each of us must brave our anxieties, new ventures and new people without the benefit of iron-clad guarantees of success.  Waiting until we are sure of ourselves will lead us into zones of inaction – we will wait until everything is “perfect” and will quickly learn that few circumstances (if any) feel that way.  Move forward even when you are not totally ready; that energy of having to begin and to “wing it” will keep you alert and open to good ways to make it through.[spacer height=”20px”]
  4.  Our fears are our weakest, least accurate guides towards moving forward. Fears always encourage us to stay still or to retreat.  Fears promise false safety and prevent us from ever feeling truly well.  Choose your other feelings, such as curiosity and excitement, as your new guides to action.[spacer height=”20px”]
  5.  You can be confident too. Each of us has a natural capacity for action, for taking care of ourselves, and for learning the things we don’t know.  Drop your negative thinking because it blocks your openness to doing and to learning new things.  Don’t compare yourself to others because there is enough confidence to go around.  Confidence, when activated, knows no bounds.[spacer height=”20px”]

Some Action Steps to Jump Start Your Self-Confidence[spacer height=”20px”]

I hope this post has encouraged you to take a leap into something new, even if that means finishing up something really, really overdue.  That would be new!

Instead of staying inside and staring at your smartphone, try to:

  • reach out to someone
  • play
  • change your style (you can always go back)
  • open up
  • get support
  • launch something new

Have faith in yourself and your spirit and keep your heart open.  I can’t wait to hear what happens when you share your new attitude with the rest of us.

Dr christine li, procrastination coach

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr. Christine Li is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Procrastination Coach who helps you get on with things so you can get on with your life. You can find Dr. Christine over at http://www.procrastinationcoach.com/

The Archbishop’s Secrets to Building Authentic Relationships

The Secrets to Building Authentic relationships?

arhcbishop and building authentic relationships
[spacer height=”20px”]The archbishop of Kingston, a lovely man, Charles Dufour is a longstanding friend of mine who presided over the diocese in which my high school was housed.[spacer height=”20px”]
While I don’t remember how we met, he has always been someone I have admired and respected. He has also proven himself to be a master of building authentic relationships.[spacer height=”20px”]
  1. He takes a genuine interest in others’ lives

    He has gotten to know me and refers to my family personally.  While he has never met them, he takes a particular interest in them and the things that are important to me.[spacer height=”20px”]

  2. He consistently sends a yearly newsletter about what is happening in the diocese

    .Every half year, I can expect to receive a newsletter in the mail from Bishop detailing events that are coming up and providing updates on the diocese’s initiatives.  He also asks about them on the call, just to make sure you have received them.  He ends the call with a reminder to keep in touch and call if you ever need anything.  [spacer height=”20px”]

  3. He calls about twice a year, Christmas and another random occasion

    His calls are usually 2 minutes in length, offering a brief about about himself and the diocese and then asking about you and your family.  The mere fact that he calls is significant and makes you feel special.[spacer height=”20px”]

  4. He lets you know when he’ll be in town

    While he doesn’t broadcast his every move, when he is coming into town and available to entertain, he gives you a heads up.  When he does his, even if you don’t get a chance to get together you feel thought about.[spacer height=”20px”]

  5. He makes everyone feel extra special and like he only sees them

    Every person who I have ever spoken to about Bishop Charles has expressed a feeling of friendship with him.  I attribute this to the fact that he makes everyone he encounters feel like they are his only friend and the only person he sees. He pays such careful attention to you that you have no choice but to feel special.[spacer height=”20px”]

  6. He is amazingly pleasant and positive in every interaction  

    My every encounter with Bishop is positive.  On occasions when he was not feeling in the best of health, he was accepting and optimistic.  His very demeanor discouraged me from complaining or being negative.  [spacer height=”20px”]

  7. He is a connector.

    When I just returned to Jamaica, he connected me with an agency to  find me a job and after when I decided practice was the way to go, he connected me with another organization to find office furniture.  One of his superpowers is connecting the right people, a skill he has cultivated over the years.  [spacer height=”20px”][spacer height=”20px”]

While he is not an entrepreneur, we can say he is in the business of saving lives so he is an Entrepreneur of sorts. What he is, though is a master at building loyalty and trust and friendship with his people.  If he had something to sell, I would definitely buy.

Dr Susaye Rattigan signature2

 

Every relationship is a mirror.

relationship.mirror

For all of my life I have struggled with relationships. When it wasn’t my relationship with my family, it was friendships that just would not stay right. Later it became relationships that challenged me the most. I knew for a long time that one area of work for me lay in the development and healing of my relational life.

In graduate school, I struggled to connect and for the most part i felt totally disconnected. I tried to fit in but the truth was that it was an arduous task. I never felt smart enough, or creative enough or funny enough to be there. I felt like at any moment, they would find out and I would be out. My relationships were few, meaningful and long lasting but those were the two amidst the others that I allowed to harm me more than heal. I remember feeling deep compassion and love for the person that issued the most debilitating blow to me and in moments, I longed to see him.

The rejection I experienced in my romantic relationships in college really scarred me and I felt that I would never find real love that I would never marry and of course, I would never have children. The relationships didn’t really make me decide on that last part. The abuse I experienced as a child did.

So I suffered myself and my relationship partners as I tried to engage in one-sided love ships, “friend”ships and tortured affairs. I held the vision for my spiritual partner ship in my mind. I knew I wanted someone who knew how to love, because I had read and taught myself what that means. I knew I wanted someone with vision because of course, why would I be with someone without vision. I knew I needed a romantic to feed my whims and I needed and needed.

And as all spiritual lessons go, the thing you think you need make it too easy for you to learn the lessons you need and so life dealt me the opposite. It wasn’t until lately that I fully accepted that the issues that kept popping up in my relationships were thematic and would not be resolved until I was resolved with them.

the issues that kept popping up in my relationships were thematic and would not be resolved until I was resolved with them.

As I looked back on each relationship that I had struggled with since I could remember, I identified the core issues that popped up. I felt unloved and uncared for and in return I sought it desperately, everywhere except myself. I placed a premium on other people loving me and hurt when they didn’t. I felt used and unappreciated and chased after achievements only to feel empty when they didn’t satisfy my soul. I couldn’t connect with the person. We didn’t understand each other. As I listed them one by one, I saw that these themes were present in other areas of my life. So not only were the relationships a mirror for myself in relationship, but they were a mirror for my relationship with life.

I don’t pretend to be spiritually enlightened and I know I have tons of work to do but this lesson that all relationships are mirrors is a pertinent one because the new truth for me was that I could see how I related to life in the things I struggled with, worried about and most importantly got royally pissed about. I concluded that If I was triggered, I still had work to do on that issue.

Even as I resolve my issues with love, I realize I haven’t mastered the relating thing as new social issues begin to pop up. I have trouble communicating my value clearly. I become defensive when my work is critiqued. I loosen my boundaries to please others. These things are just mirrors for how Myself and life and entwined right now and these is so much work to be done.

So how do you know when a relationship is just bad for you as opposed to when it is a mirror: As a Psychologist I would say when a relationship hurts you more than it helps you, it is bad for you. As a human spirit, I would say when it starts to erode your spiritual essence, and you start to lose who you know yourself to be, you’re in the wrong spot.

Talk Back: What have your relationships mirrored back to you? And how did you react to the awareness?

Kamron McKinnon

Kamron mckinnon picKamron McKinnon of RaizeYourself.com is a writer and aspiring thought-leader looking to build confidence, shatter limits and become impactful, so one day he might change the world.

 When there was self-doubt and worry in my life, I knew that there was something wrong. Not necessarily with me or the situation but with my perception of reality. I needed to change that.

I always believed that life is about change, not in the negative connotation but in the absolute beautiful meaning it has about developing. So, it came natural that I developed a ‘shift’ in mindset, and began to explore a new world of opportunities where I could leverage stress to expel my doubt and worries and in place put positivity and faith into my life.

About two months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. This, unlike others, led me onto a spiritual journey. Where most people would become bitter and distasteful towards their ex’s, trying to show off by having “too much fun”, I was beginning to walk a path of spiritual and emotional healing.

All that I have taken from people, I now make a conscious effort to give it out

The shift that I was bound to while in the decline of the relationship was one of Gain and Holding On. Now, after meditation and reflection, I see that that is a harmful mindset to be in. Once I realised this, I became liberated and I found a Truth.

It’s important to always be reflecting on how you treat people. And if I had known this while I was with her, I’d still be with her. But, the Universe has a different plan, thus, I went further into the Law of Attraction and developing faith.

I’ve now shifted to; Giving and Letting Go.

This was the shift in mindset that I needed to begin the process of spiritual and emotional healing. All that I have taken from people, I now make a conscious effort to give it out. All the support that my girlfriend had given me, I give out to my close friends. I show appreciation a lot more and I enjoy the company of my friends more than I ever have.

It is with this one event (the break-up), that I owe my spirit and the person I have become. Many people don’t think it possible to undergo such a change, but I do and I did. Even though I’ve always been a “I can do it.” kind of person, I now know the importance of the Golden Rule.

The main actions that took place to really shift my thoughts and attitudes were;

Meditating on what went wrong and right

  • Journalling all thoughts
  • Forgiving myself and others
  • Planned for the future
  • Developed habits that reflect the person I want to be

My daily life is full of intention. I’ve taken personal responsibility and I’ve set my goals and I’m dedicating my days towards them. It is when you take the blame and say you’re sorry that you become liberated and freed from the emotional constraints of the past.

Each day I remind myself of that. Forgive the past and Create the future in the Present.

When I regret something, it is usually when I haven’t thought it out before I took action. Spontaneity is valuable but when dealing with others, it is wise to slow down. Because whatever you do to others, will come back to you in some profound way.

The best way for me to not regret is first by forgiving the moments of stupidity and harm I’ve caused in the past and then by reminding myself of the value of the Golden Rule EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Kamron’s Advice For Your Shifted Journey

If you are considering or in the process of a life shift… let the people you admire guide you with their wisdom. Let yourself flow by giving yourself to your passions. Follow your bliss and everything else will come. A life shift can be small, perhaps develop a habit that is reflective of the wealthy or healthy.

The thing that was most helpful to me during my own shift was dedicating myself to my talents and using my gifts to give to the world. By doing this I was able to use the negative energy of sadness and anger and transfer them into my workouts, writings and dances. So, be conscious of your passions and give your all to it.

My daily practice helps me to remain shifted is spending time on being grateful for what I have in my life and for what I will have. This immense dedication to gratitude is what keeps my spirits high and it also places me into a mindset of GIVING. It’s an amazing thing.

I challenge you to develop positive and intelligent habits that reflect the ‘shift’ you want to make. If you want to become rich, then cultivate what rich people do. If you wish to be more loving and kind, practice the Golden Rule.

Overall, ‘shifting’ and developing yourself is really easy. You just need to apply yourself and let the magic happen.

– Kamron McKinnon

Quiana Murray

Quiana Murray headshotQuiana Murray shows Bold Biz Ladies how to quickly grow their profitable dream business. Using her experience owning 5 businesses, Quiana helps women avoid costly business mistakes.  You can find Quiana at www.ohsobold.com.

Years ago I worked for a large international company. My enthusiasm and excitement for this position quickly ended when it became evident I had to work 12-hour days just to keep up with the workload. I spent my days, nights, and weekends chained to a desk doing work I did not enjoy.

To top it off my marriage was failing and my children never got to see me. I was depressed, stressed out, and my health began to fade. I knew I had to do something but being an optimist, I believed I could change the company culture and make a difference.

Eventually my doctor prescribed muscle relaxers which I was required to take each night in order to fall asleep. You see, the stress from this job literally tensed me up so much I could not sleep. I began to cry every night and spent my entire weekends dreading Mondays.

One day I was in my office, door closed, trying to burn the midnight oil and it hit me – if I died tomorrow, they’d just find another poor soul to do this job. Further I realized if I died tomorrow I would have spent 2 years miserable.

In that moment I stopped working, packed my things, and went home. I hadn’t decided what I was going to do. I just knew, I was no longer going to work this hard at work and give my family the leftovers.

My shift happened right when it should have and I could not be happier!

That night, I slept great. I didn’t even need my medicine. The next day I woke up, called in sick (mental health day) and spent the entire day home with my family. It was great!

The following day I woke up as usual and went into the office. I decided no matter what happened that day; I would just trust it would all work out. True to form, the workload was insane.

I remember sitting in a meeting and hearing how I was getting another account on top of my already insane account load. This time, I wasn’t upset. I got up, walked into my office, closed my door, and wrote my resignation letter.

Before I could fall into the trap of worry, doubt, or fear, I sent it to my management team. I felt beyond awesome. I gave them adequate time to find a replacement and vowed until my last day I would work my standard 8 hours.

Three weeks later, I left with no job lined up but many many ideas. It’s been 4 years since I left that job and I could not be happier. I eventually found another job I loved, re-launched my business, and my relationships are greatly improved.

Today, I get to spend tons of time with my family, do work I enjoy, and have excellent health. My shift happened right when it should have and I could not be happier! It’s easy to wish a shift had happened sooner, but the perfect storm of events leading up to my shift made the journey so much more exciting! Even on those days when I feel a tinge of doubt creep in, I refocus but I never look back.

Quiana’s Advice For Your Shifted Journey

If you are considering or in the process of a life shift… allow the process to happen, don’t be concerned with what others think. You and only you can claim your shift!

The thing that was most helpful to me during my own shift was…detaching. I stopped people-pleasing, owned my ‘No’, and stood firm in my decisions, even the imperfect ones.

My daily practice that helps me to remain shifted is… surrounding myself with positive people. Drama, envy, and negativity steal not only your joy but the joy of those around you, I keep my circle filled with people who do not default to those characteristics.

I challenge you to… do what’s scary. Yes, you’re unsure, we all are during (and many times after) our shift. If you continue to play it safe, you will continue to get what you already have. If you want more or different, you have to think, act, and overall be different.

– Quiana Murray

Joyce Kaiser

Joyce Kaiser is a teacher and a student who also happens to be a bit of a hippie, but who is a lover of all things beautiful. She can be found blogging at Mosaic Starfish.

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My shift restarted approximately four years ago. I had been very spiritual and connected, but life had gotten in the way and I had allowed myself to become disconnected from who I was and who I wanted to be. I longed for a return to that. And to return to a life of service, contribution, value.

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 A really close friend of mine began expressing that she felt similar. Long story short, we decided to spend a month conducting a happiness project. Our project was designed to find and focus on pleasant things, with the specific goal of increasing our awareness to our emotions and cultivating happiness. There are, of course, a lot of details involved and I am a story teller – I could keep you here all day.

 

In the course of our happiness project, I began searching out audio that I could put on in the background as I worked throughout my day. I also began reading the self improvement books that had been collecting dust on my shelves. I re-engaged with my spirituality.

  It’s a journey. My shift continues, and will always continue.

Over the course of these past four years, I found others that were like me, that knew they belonged, but not necessarily belonged where they were. Or they wanted more, they wanted to grow. They wanted a connection to something bigger. I began coaching them, and they began coaching me. We bonded and in some cases have become like family.

 

I hung quotes around my house. Devoured audio and video and courses. I got coaches, I became a coach – the best way to learn is to teach, did you know that? It’s true. Teaching forces you to walk your talk.

 

To keep it short and sweet, I will say that it is true, what you focus on, expands.

 

My daily life now isn’t perfect. But it’s progress. It’s a journey. My shift continues, and will always continue. If I were to use one sentence to describe me, it would be that I am always evolving.

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Joyce’s Advice For Your Shifted Journey

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If you are considering or in the process of a life shift, I recommend reaching out to other people that are also shifting. You may be met with resistance or negativity by those closest to you, reach past them. Don’t let them stop you. Don’t let you stop you. There are many like minded people that want to shift their lives, as well.

My daily practice that helps me to remain shifted is my daily meditation practice; it helps me to quiet the voices of fear, doubt, negativity. And the voices of excitement and energy, as well. I highly recommend making time for silence; even the happy voices need to take a break once in awhile.

The thing that was most helpful to me during my own shift was my quiet time which deepened my shift. Listen to soothing music, sit by a beach or in a forest. I adore yoga, hikes, paddle boarding, digging in my garden. Your quiet time can be whatever and where ever you are able to be quiet, at peace, and connected to you for a few moments.

I also recommend that you schedule meetings with peers who can energize you, challenge you, push you outside your comfort zone.

 I challenge you to try something new. Try something that scares you, challenges you, makes you go outside of yourself. Often.

– Joyce Kaiser

Indigo Ocean

Indigo Ocean headshotIndigo is founder of Aspiratech.net, Phone-Buddies.com, AwakenBusinessConsulting.com and author of 2 published books. She has helped build a land trust community for poor Hawaiians and taught meditation to incarcerated teens.

Deep bows to change—whether baby steps along a clear, level road or thundering avalanches crashing down and sweeping away everything in their paths. Shift can take either form, plus anything in between. Shift is change that in hindsight you recognize as progress. So of course, there have been many shifts in my lifetime. I’ll pick my most fully integrated one to share.

As backstory, I was a poor kid. Not “roof caving in on a shack without heat or running water” poor, but “no clothes without holes, shoes that don’t fit, constantly hungry” poor. American poor. My dream was therefore to be a millionaire and help raise my family out of poverty, to never again see my mother cry over lack or fear of things getting even worse. I too longed to leave such feelings behind me. The only problem was, I grew up with a consciousness of poverty. So even with an Ivy League education, and ample time spent as a peer among the children of presidents and billionaires, I still struggled much of my adult life just to pay the rent and keep food in the house.

 A spirit-led life is always a masterpiece life.

There were many shifts that moved me along the path of spiritual awakening. Times when I could even heal people just by looking at them and seeing their perfection with such conviction that their belief in their imperfection was obliterated by my sight, leaving only perfection behind. But I was still poor.

After decades of bouncing around from job to job, I had reached a point where I was finally working from home for good money. I was an independent contractor for several business consulting companies (thanks to my ability to learn new things easily and lots of experience in different industries over the years), and one asked me to quit the others and go exclusive with them. They guaranteed me a $6,000 monthly income for up to 20 hours of work from home each week, and $75 more per hour for every hour over 20. I said yes!

I quit all my other gigs, and then 4 months later the Western Regional Director quit, and the company (based in North Carolina) decided not to replace him. I volunteered to do his job and mine, but they didn’t believe I could, so they just pulled out of the state completely. I had only 1 month’s living expenses to my name. Plus they’d been letting me use a company laptop, so I didn’t even own my own computer. I was a contractor, so also had no unemployment insurance, and my previous contracting employers had no openings due to the crash in the economy (early 2009).

So what did I do? I decided to greet it as a blessing instead of a curse. I realized that though the rug had been pulled out from under me, I had the choice whether I fell or flapped my wings and flew. I started doing on my own what the previous Western Regional Director had done, only under my own banner, Aspiratech. I’ll have to skip the logistical details for brevity, but within 2 months I had my first $20,000 client and within 2 years I had my first $375,000 client!

My client roster has included Cisco Systems and Comcast, and I run it all from home with an international team of contractors. At this point, I don’t even do much of that anymore. Now I mostly have passive income from online training courses I’ve created, and devote my own time to the business consulting work I do with entrepreneurs like myself, who are trying to build up their businesses without the benefit of the exposure I got as a business consultant for so many years.

With these changes I made another major shift—from poverty consciousness to millionaire consciousness. Yes, I am now a self-made millionaire. I don’t worry about money 95% of the time. Sometimes those old mental habits still rear their heads, but I just laugh at them. I know something miraculous and powerful and infinitely loving is living this life through me. I am living a spirit-led life, and a spirit-led life is always a masterpiece life. My job is just enjoying watching the master paint with my hands. And what a wonder it is to behold.

Indigo’s Advice for Your Shifted Journey

If you are considering or in the process of a life shift, congratulations. You’re playing this game right, because the game is growth. And if you want to play like a master, then embrace the shift with curiosity, anticipation, and joy.

The thing that was most helpful to me during my own shift was that I had been so deeply connected with both an external teacher and my inner guidance system for so many years by then, that I just knew with like 90% certainty that it was all going to work out. I mean I had so little financial security, but I just knew I was being taken on a magic carpet ride.

My daily practice that helps me to remain shifted is savoring the process of continual shift itself. I’m in no hurry to get anywhere, but I know I’m going to. I’m just enjoying the ride.

I challenge you to face your next “Lucy moment” by flying instead of falling. You just have to flap your wings and yell, “Whoopee!”

– Indigo Ocean

Ramona Fellermeier

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Ramona Fellermeier is a German life coach and travel blogger living an unconventional life and travelling the world one country at a time. After receiving a degree in Aviation Management she now helps others to grow their own wings and reach for the sky. www.ramonafellermeier.com

 

To me, a life shift is a moment in life where you experience that your life changes in a profound way. You simply KNOW when such a shift happens.

Departing on my 219 day round the world trip in 2013 marked one of my most impactful shifts, and I still remember how my gut feeling knew that I have made the right decision when boarding my flight to Bangkok. It was a magical feeling of freedom, happiness and possibility. I’d just received my degree in Aviation Management and quit my safe but unfulfilling corporate job at the Munich Airport. And even though I had no clue what will be next in life, I felt that the answer will come along when I’m ready.

It did. After more than five months on the road I realized that I needed to share my gift of empowering others to live a bold, miraculous life. I was living my own dream every day, and nothing felt more right than sharing what I’ve learned on my inner and outer travels. I became a self-employed life coach, enrolled in an amazing and very challenging coaching training program and have changed numerous lives since.

My 219 day journey around the world not only challenged me in many ways and completely turned my life upside down, it also made me aware of my life purpose and how to share it with the world.

Being a coach not only enables me to make a powerful impact in other people’s lives but also helped me tremendously to create a life of my own heart and soul desire. I am still travelling the world one country at a time while coaching people from Canada, the United States, Great Britain, the Netherlands and Australia. I am fascinated by how alike the world really is, and coaching people from all over the globe expands my own horizons every day of my life.

You don’t need to be 100% ready to create a shift in your life. In fact, I didn’t feel ready at all. Now, when I look back on my time in the aviation industry, my travels and the personal transformation I’ve experienced, I am incredibly happy and wouldn’t change my experiences for anything in the world. It was scary to leave a safe career behind and embark on a trip into the unknown. Knowing how much I’ve gained by taking a leap of faith and leaving my comfort zone makes me want to do it again in a heartbeat!

Ramona’s Advice For Your Shifted Journey

If you are considering or in the process of a life shift…be with it fully. Your awareness of the changes that are going on in your life is the most important tool for you to stay in control and navigate towards a life your heart and soul desire.

The thing that was most helpful to me during my own shift was…to trust myself that I am doing the right thing.

My daily practice that helps me to remain shifted is…gratitude, a positive attitude and asking myself how I can serve the people around me each and every day.

I challenge you to…leave your comfort zone and become your truest, highest self – one moment at a time.

-Ramona Fellermeier

Krista Jennings

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Krista is a coach that is passionate about helping women who are perfectionist and high achievers gain more balance and in their daily lives.

A life shift means the gradually or dramatic change in direction in one’s life. Though this is a very vulnerable place of excitement and fear. It provides a pathway, to create change in one or more areas of your life, simultaneously.

My own shift came from being desperate for a change in my career.  I had created an exit plan and strategy, and I continuously waited for the right time or more like the ‘perfect’ time to move onto what I truly wanted.  Though, I had entrepreneurial aspirations, fear and a solid performance strategy wasn’t missing from the equation.

My energy was drained and at one point I was depressed. I didn’t verbalize this to my family, but I know deep down they knew.  I allowed myself to be trapped in a physical and mental space that was to my detriment.  You see this part of my life, took up a lot of my  energy, the commute,  the mundane tasks and on many occasions, I wasn’t being authentic.

My shift took me from a really unhappy place to one that has challenged me to be more focused

I simply wanted out, but I didn’t have the courage to make the first move, for a number of reasons.  Mainly because I knew deep down I wanted to be an entrepreneur and looking for another job wasn’t going to make me feel better.  I knew I had a lot of soul searching to do and  I didn’t have a clue what my purpose was, or what I would be building a business around.

My shift took me from a really unhappy place to one that has challenged me to be more focused, to step outside my comfort zone and truly embrace the person I am and continue to grow in becoming.

Today, there has been a shift in the relationship I have with myself.  I’m far more confident.  I have developed a stronger relationship with simply more patience.

My daily life revolves around gratitude, exercise, reading and inspiring.  Every morning as I wake up around 6 AM, I thank God for a new day and an opportunity to contribute to the world.  Then I take a few minutes to just calm my mind and get intentional about the kind of day, I want to have.  Then I make myself a wholesome breakfast and then I usually read a book after. Then, I exercise for about an hour. Then I take a shower, make a smoothie and then organize my day.

What has truly worked for me is, avoiding emails before 11 am. It helps to eliminate as much distraction and allows me to get my top 2 task completed efficiently.

Krista’s Advice For Your Shifted Journey

If you are considering or in the process of a life shift, be kind and patient with yourself. It’s a very vulnerable place and there may times where you feel so overwhelmed, but remember you’re in control.

The thing that was most helpful to me during my own shift was self talk. I know this may sound a little weird, but it has truly been helpful to me. Whenever I get overwhelmed or feel a little lost. I stand in front of the mirror and  speak out loud my inhibitions. Actually hearing myself, provides me  with clarity. I get to really hear what’s going on in my mind and then I can motivate and get my frame of mind on a clearer track.

 My daily practice that helps me to remain shifted is being grateful.  Being grateful, even when things aren’t going my way. It can be difficult, because when we are in a place of uncertainty or we’re overwhelmed by everything that’s happening around us, the last thing we want to do is to be grateful for being in such a space.  Being grateful for when things aren’t going the way you want, allows you to appreciate even more the times when there’s a glimmer of light.

 I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone daily.  Embrace all the changes, the ups and the downs. They are all places of growth. If you choose to stay in a place of ‘comfort’ you’re more likely to have some resentment towards yourself later down the line.  Step out of your comfort zone everyday.

-Krista Jennings